Day 1, Again

Today's goal: 3 miles
Actual run: 3.6 miles
Pace: 9:50 min/mile

A year ago today, I began training for the Chicago marathon. I wrote about it on this blog, and I went into summary detail of my entire life's fitness up to that point.

It's complete coincidence that June 4 is once again the first day of my training program, this time for the Chicago Half Marathon on September 8. In a year, I've probably changed a lot, though it doesn't feel like it. My thighs still touch. I still could eat an entire tub of buttered movie theater popcorn and only feel a little bit ill. I still drink alcohol. My cat is still surviving under my care. I am, thank you baby Jesus, employed.

But I have changed. I'm in a committed relationship. I'm actually proud that my thighs touch. When I'm in the middle of a terrible run, I don't have an excuse to quit because there's a voice in the back of my head jeering at me: "What are you complaining about, three miles? You've run 26 in one go. Get over yourself and run faster."

Today I went for my first official training run of the season along Lake Shore Drive. I wore new workout pants from Target (retail therapy always helps jump-start a training program) and my 2012 marathon technical t-shirt. I felt my belly bouncing with each step, and my bicep strained against the strap holding my smartphone, which I used as a music player and a run tracker (friend me on MapMyRun.com!). My mind wandered, as it usually does, from one recent event in my life to the next, mulling over the changing tenor of a friendship and pining over my out-of-town boyfriend and wondering if this run would make me feel less guilty about eating a cheeseburger during bar trivia later tonight. (Answer: Probably not.) I noticed how many other people were out on the trail; I spotted at least half a dozen of the same shirt I wore. I got passed, I passed others, I nearly got clipped by a cyclist. It felt like walking into a favorite bar I hadn't visited in awhile. I know these people.

(Also, June is totally the New Year's Day of the running community -- everyone begins their resolution on a strong note, since lots of training programs are 12-18 weeks and lots of runs take place between August and October, notably the Chicago Half Marathon and the Chicago Marathon.)

Last year on this day, I began an 18-week training period that tested my resilience as well as my patience. I got frustrated a lot, especially when I didn't feel like going on that day's run, or my pace was slower than I wanted, or I was unable to resist my favorite bad-for-you foods. I spent that four months (four months!!) obsessing over my running, my eating, and how I fit into my yoga pants. I can't promise I won't do that again; after all, it never really goes away. The belly fat, I mean. Also the self-doubt.

But what I can do is be accountable to my goals and to my community. I will again be fortunate to train with my friend and roommate, LaJuanda, who is already excitedly suggesting high school tracks at which we can perform our speedwork workouts (a first for both of us). I will feed off her enthusiasm, just as I will feed off the approval and Facebook "likes" I get on posts to this blog.

I get inspired when other people write about their journeys, especially when they don't censor their own frustrations, failures, and inevitably imperfect humanity. I hope to do that here. If you're out there, and you're reading, I see you. I'm glad you're here.